According practicing psychologist Ivan Tony from the Transcarpathia, our whole life consists of uncertainty. Even if we try not to take into account the war, the evacuation, even in peacetime, none of us knows what will happen to him in 5 minutes, tomorrow, in a year, when he goes out on the street or enters a room.
– But there is good news – our soul has historically adapted to a state of uncertainty, Ivan Tonya explains. – Therefore, for the most part, none of us think about it every minute, which means that uncertainty in everyday matters does not mean stress. Imagine if you were going to cook pasta for dinner, but you are not sure your partner will like it. Or maybe a soup? But will your children love it? What do you cook to please everyone?
These are also examples of uncertainty, but are we so worried about them? However, if there are many such uncertainties, and they are global – war, terrorism, loss of home, loved ones, job – they have a cumulative effect and it becomes more and more difficult to deal with them. There is a feeling of anxiety.
On the other hand, uncertainty can also evoke positive emotions – anticipation of pleasant changes. I was fired – I will find a new one, it will be interesting there, I will gain new experience, I will meet new people. There is the concept of resilience – the ability of a person to recover and continue activities even when everything goes wrong, as intended, to gain new experience, to live through these events. Cultivating this ability in ourselves allows us to increase our resistance to stress and experience uncertainty with the least loss to the individual.
– How can Ukrainians “draw” resilience and tolerance to uncertainty?
– It is necessary, again, to pay attention to yourself, your feelings and your reactions to what is happening around you. In addition, you should remember that you should do it when you are in a state of relative peace, because in a state of stress it can be difficult to analyze the facts and adequately understand the information (it depends on the person, for some, on the contrary, it is easy to concentrate their strengths and skills on stress and make decisions and take action).
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When you feel that emotions are no longer so out of scale, and you can analyze, try to unravel the “anxious tangle”. For example, now I am under pressure, I feel stressed and it is difficult for me. I have trembling hands, shallow breathing and chills. all because I had to leave my home because of the war, I hope this is temporary to protect myself and my children, now I have to find housing for next month, find out about immigrant programs, meet people who are in the same position, it will be easier to find support, find a job or part-time job, find a kindergarten, school or hobby club for children to make new friends. If we assume worse that I will not be able to return home in the coming months, then I may have such a plan, the main thing is that we are now safe.
If you “unfold” the chain of causes of your stressful situation in this way and show yourself the prospects for any development of events, then the level of stress will be reduced, you will be able to adequately perceive the events, no matter how catastrophic it may. Uncertainty is part of our lives, whether in times of peace or in times of war. Do not fight it, but accept it as a natural part of life. By nature, a person tends to neutralize uncertainty by surrounding himself with comfort and safety. But even with certainty, no one can say for sure what will happen in the future. It’s okay if you do not know something. .
See also: “Do what supports you, then you will find the strength to support others”: tips from a crisis psychologist
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